Human behavior is a very interesting study. Have you ever felt like you were watching a movie of yourself? You recognize the character which of course is you; however, the action of that person in the movie is like watching a total stranger.
Saturday morning was sunny and warm. I had the whole day ahead of me to enjoy. So what did I do? I went down to the garage to put the summer fans away. Before I knew it, I was re-organizing and sweeping an already clean and orderly garage. I was like a mad woman, putting all the screwdrivers in order of color in the bottom drawer of the toolkit. I even sorted out all of the plumbing supplies and carefully placed them in a labeled bin.
Before I knew it, I was in the driveway vacuuming and hand washing my not very dirty car. I also need to confess that I did four loads of laundry prior to going down to the garage.
I finally stopped when I was tired. I wouldn’t call my self a particularly tidy person, nor do I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. That being said, some part of my brain caused me to go on a cleaning rampage.
Thinking back on it now, I had a pretty chaotic week. Working in property management has it’s moments. One of the homes had severe water damage in the basement. It was difficult to see a young family’s belongings sitting in a pool of water. We also gave notice to one of our tenants for littering. His front yard looked like a war zone with beer bottles, plastic detergent bottles and tin cans everywhere.
I have come to the conclusion that my behavior is in response to being involved in circumstances that were out of my control. Cleaning and organizing gave me a sense of control and a release from my anxiety.
Although I didn’t recognize myself in my movie, a little neurotic cleaning goes a long way. I feel calm and once again in control. In addition, I now have a spotless garage and a car that shines.
I should allow myself these, “that’s not really me” episodes more often.